Maybe this is my fault...

Maybe this is my fault.

Maybe I’m too controlling. Too lenient. Not calm enough. Not firm enough.

We tell ourselves that lying awake replaying everything means we care.
That beating ourselves up is how we get better at this.

But here’s the thing:

That 2am spiral? It’s not just keeping you up. It’s wiring your body to brace for tomorrow’s conversation.

Your body isn’t resting while you replay every word. It’s preparing for things to go wrong.

So when your teen walks in the next day with bad news, you’re already on edge. And advice comes out before you even know it’s happening.

Not because you meant to, but because your body was already prepped the night before.

The hardest part isn’t the argument itself.
It’s lying awake wondering why you can’t seem to show up as the parent you want to be.

…

Why knowing doesn’t equal doing

You know what you’re supposed to do.

But then you check the school portal and see three missing assignments. Or find a vape in their backpack. Or they snap, “Whatever, Mom,” and disappear into their room.

You’re literally telling yourself,
Don’t lose it. Stay calm. Don’t lecture.

And at the same time, your chest tightens. Your thoughts speed up. That urgency hits—I need to say something right now before this gets worse.

And before your brain catches up, you’re already explaining why this matters for the tenth time.

Different trigger. Same urgency. Same advice. Same 2am regret.

Most parents don’t lack information.

They’ve read the articles. Listened to the podcasts. Reminded themselves what to do next time.

The problem is when that information is available.

After the conversation? Crystal clear.
In the moment? Gone.

That’s why trying to fix this alone keeps failing.
You’re trying to use your head when your body is already running the show.

…

What changes when you’re not doing this alone

Alone, you’re fighting your nervous system in real time, trying to stay calm when your body is already tense.

With support, we interrupt the pattern before the next conversation even happens.

So when your teen walks in tomorrow, you’re not scrambling to remember what to do. A different response is already there.

That’s not willpower. That’s new wiring.

If you’re thinking, This sounds like more work, here’s the truth:

Forcing yourself to stay calm in the moment is exhausting.
Learning to interrupt the pattern before the moment? That's relieving.
And the more you practice it, the more automatic it becomes—like a new habit that actually serves you.

Waiting doesn’t pause it.
It practices it.

You just need to interrupt it before the next conversation.

…

This is why the Parenting Breakthrough Call exists

On this complimentary 60-minute call, we’ll look at what’s happening in your specific situation:

• Where the loop actually starts—the moment your body braces before you even realize it

• Why you keep jumping to advice even when you know better, and what’s driving that urgency

• One specific shift you can make before the next conversation that changes the dynamic

You’ll walk away with clarity on what’s keeping you stuck in this pattern—and exactly what to do differently.

👉 Book a Parenting Breakthrough Call here.

This isn’t about learning more parenting strategies or trying harder with what you already know.

It’s about finally understanding why your body keeps taking over and having someone show you how to interrupt the pattern before it runs again.

You don’t have to keep doing this alone.

🧡 Jeanine