The same fight. Again.

It’s 8:00pm.

Your teen is on the couch, controller in hand, fully absorbed in a video game. You remind them—nicely—that homework still isn’t done.

“Five more minutes.”

You come back ten minutes later. Still playing.

Your chest tightens. You say it again, this time less calmly. They don’t respond. You reach for the cord and pull it out of the wall.

And suddenly it’s a full-blown explosion.

“I didn’t save my game!”
“You never listen!”
“I hate you!”

Doors slam. Voices rise. Everyone storms off.

And you’re left standing there, heart racing, thinking:
How did something so small turn into this again?

And in that moment, the thought isn’t I messed up.
It’s Why does it always end like this?

Not because it was a big moment.
But because it wasn’t.

It was just the latest version of the same fight you’ve been having for months. Different topic, same ending.

Homework. Phones. Chores. Bedtime. Attitude.
Different words. Same loop.

And what’s exhausting isn’t even the conflict itself.

It’s the repetition.

You’re not upset about this argument.
You’re tired of living in the loop.

Most parents think each argument is about the topic.
What they don’t realize is they’re stuck in a pattern that keeps recreating the same ending, no matter what the topic is.

It’s hard not to start believing that this is just how it’s going to be now.
And a part of you quietly wonders if anything would actually make a difference.

Because this phase of parenting is relentless in a way no one prepares you for.
Every conversation feels loaded.
And by the time you say something, your shoulders are already up by your ears.

Here’s what I know after working with hundreds of parents in this exact place:

The pattern can change.
But not by trying harder at the same approach.

Not by finding better words for the same conversation.

The shift happens when you understand what’s actually creating the loop.
And that’s not what most parents think it is.

The low-grade stress of daily battles.
The mental load of always being one step ahead.
The quiet exhaustion of caring deeply and still feeling stuck in the same pattern.

Not because you don’t love your teen.
And not because you’re doing something wrong.

But because this chapter of parenting asks more of you than you ever expected.
Emotionally, mentally, and in your relationship.

There’s no pause button. No manual. No moment when someone taps you on the shoulder and says, "Here’s how to do this without it turning into an argument every time."

So you keep trying. You keep showing up. You keep having the conversations—even when a part of you is already tired before they begin.

And that alone says everything about the kind of parent you are.

If you’ve had your own version of this moment, standing in the kitchen, the hallway, the living room, wondering how another small thing turned into such a big mess, you’re not alone.

You’re not broken.
Your relationship isn’t beyond repair.
You’re just exhausted from caring inside a pattern that keeps repeating itself.

And that’s a very human place to be.

🧡 Jeanine