You think he's being rude. He isn't.

You think the problem is that he argues about everything.

The family dinner.

The outing.

The errand.

The simple request that somehow turns into a debate.

It looks like attitude.

It looks like rudeness.

It looks like he doesn't want to be with you.

But most of the time, that's not what you're actually looking at.

A mom recently told me:

"Every simple request becomes a negotiation."

And I knew exactly what she meant.

She says:

"We're leaving in twenty minutes."

He says:

"I don't want to go."

And suddenly they're off.

Back and forth.

Neither one feeling understood.

Neither one getting what they want.

The easy conclusion is:

He's being rude.

But what if he's not?

What if what looks like attitude is actually something else?

Once you see that, you're no longer arguing about dinner.

Not because he suddenly gets his way.

And not because you change the family plans.

But because you realize it's not actually about dinner.

Instead of:

"We talked about this yesterday."

You say:

"You really don't want to go, huh?"

Because now you're wondering what made him say that.

And that's a very different conversation.

When every conversation is filled with attitude...

that's what's painful.

The truth is, you genuinely want to spend time together.

You want him there.

And when it looks like he doesn't want to be there, it's easy to wonder if he doesn't want a relationship with you the way you want one with him.

And that hurts.

Little by little, you stop asking because you know his answer.

And then summer goes by.

The dinners don't happen.

The conversations don't happen.

And before you know it, you've stopped expecting him to come.

It doesn't have to be that way.

If you're tired of wondering:

Why does everything turn into an argument?

that's exactly what we look at on a Parenting Breakthrough Call.

Not just why your son pushes back on every request...

but what you can do so you're not bracing yourself every time you need to ask him something.

And that's how you have more influence when it matters most.

🧡 Jeanine