Why does every simple request get pushback?
Ever stand in your kid’s doorway and hear:
“Get out of my room!”
“I’ll do it later!”
Or get… nothing at all — just a stare at the phone, blanket pulled over their head?
If you’re nodding, you’re not alone.
Here’s what I want you to know:
You can’t make your teen listen — but you can say things in a way that makes it so much easier for them to cooperate.
So why does our approach usually backfire?
Most of us use the same words we heard growing up:
“You should be up by now.”
“You need to walk the dog.”
“Why haven’t you started your homework?”
We think we’re helping — but to them, it feels like they’re doing it wrong. And that’s when the pushback starts — not because they’re bad kids, but because they’re trying to feel in control too.
So instead of telling them what to do, help them be part of the solution.
You still get to have expectations.
You still get to hold your boundaries.
You’re just using words that help them follow through — instead of fueling another standoff.
Watch what happens when you swap:
✨ “Get up — you’re so lazy!” → “Morning — what’s your plan for today?”
✨ “Walk the dog right now!” → “Lexi’s ready for her walk — what time works for you?”
✨ “Did you finish your summer reading yet?” → “Hey, what’s making it hard to start your reading?”
✨ “Why are you so moody?” → “You seem stressed — what’s going on?”
It’s a small shift in words — but it’s a big shift in how they hear you.
You’re showing them you trust they can handle it — and that trust builds the bridge.
“For the first time, there was no argument, no eye roll — just a simple, ‘I’ve got it, Mom — you don’t have to remind me again.’ I almost cried.”
— Sarah, mom of a 15-year-old
If you’re tired of feeling like every ask turns into pushback — this is where to start:
🎯 Pick your timing wisely — Let them finish the text first. A few seconds of patience can save an hour of attitude.
🎯 Ask, don’t lecture — A question feels collaborative. A demand feels like control.
🎯 Say less, listen more — When they answer, pause. Let them talk. You can always circle back with advice later.
This isn’t magic — it takes practice. Some days you’ll nail it, others you’ll slip back into old patterns. That’s normal.
What matters is that when your words change, their attitude softens and they actually do the thing… without the usual pushback.
You don’t need to be perfect.
Just more intentional.
And when you see that first moment of “Sure, I’ll do that now,” you’ll know you’re on the right track.
🧡 Jeanine
P.S. I’ve put together a short video with the exact words that work with real families — including the tricky situations like getting them off screens and motivating them to get their work done.
