When they only call for help, not to talk

The other day, I felt sad...
and honestly? A little used.

It felt like my son only called when he wanted something.
A quick favor. A problem to solve. Money.
Not because he wanted to talk.
Not because he missed me.

The calls felt transactional—
but what I was aching for was closeness.

I wanted to hear about his life.
What he was excited about.
What he was struggling with.
Even just… what he had for lunch that day.

But none of that was happening.

And when I’d reach out?
No answer.
No reply.

That silence hits in a way only moms understand.
Whether your child is 16 or 26, that ache is the same.
We just want to feel close.
To know they want that too.

So I did something different.

I stopped trying to chase him down.
And I told him the truth—without tone, and without shame.

I’d love to feel more connected with you. I want to know what your life is like—what you’re enjoying, what’s hard, when you have a win, or go do something fun.

Lately, it’s felt like I mostly hear from you when something’s needed—and I get it, life gets busy. But I miss just talking.

And if now’s not the right time, that’s okay—I’ll respect that.

I just wanted to be honest, because reaching out and not hearing back starts to feel a little one-sided. And I know that’s not fun for either of us.

And you know what happened?

A few days later, he called to say he made a sale.
Then he told me about a friend struggling with alcohol.
He shared what he had planned for the weekend.
And after I helped him with something, he texted:
“Thank you, Mama.”

My heart warmed.
And for a moment, life felt right again.

This is why I believe so deeply in the power of parenting from connection—not control.

When we treat our kids with respect…
When we’re willing to be vulnerable instead of demanding…

That’s when something shifts.
They start opening up.
Sharing.
Actually wanting to connect.

Not always right away.
Not always in the way we expect.

But eventually—if we stay steady—
they feel respected and loved.

And that’s the kind of relationship that lasts.

If you're craving this kind of connection with your teen—you're not alone.
And you don't have to figure it out by yourself.

🧡 Jeanine