When they’re not okay

When our kids are doing well, we tend to feel pretty good too.

They like their classes.

They have friends.

They’re keeping up with their work.

They seem happy.

Okay. We’re doing okay.

But then something changes.

They hate a class.

They’re having trouble with a friend.

They come home miserable after practice.

And suddenly we’re wondering:

What do I do?

Of course we pay attention.

We love them. We want them to be happy and successful.

And sometimes we really do need more information because something is going on and they need our help.

But I think sometimes we’re looking for something else too.

Sometimes when we’re trying to find out if they’re okay, what we’re really looking for is something that will help us feel okay.

We want to hear that the class isn’t that bad.

That the friend situation worked itself out.

That they’re just tired.

Something that lets us exhale.

And without even realizing it, we can start using how our teenager is doing as evidence of how we’re doing as a parent.

When they’re doing well, we can relax.

When they’re not, it can feel like something has gone wrong—and maybe we should be doing something about it.

That’s a lot of pressure to put on every bad day.

Because your teenager is going to have classes they hate.

They’re going to feel left out sometimes.

They’re going to be disappointed, overwhelmed, annoyed, lonely, and unsure what to do.

And none of that automatically means you’ve missed something or need to make it better.

Your teenager doesn’t have to be okay for you to be doing a good job.

If you want to feel more confident knowing when your teenager actually needs your help—and when your own worry is making you feel like you need to do something—that’s exactly the kind of thing we can sort through together on a Parenting Breakthrough Call.

You don’t have to keep figuring it out on your own.

🧡 Jeanine