The moment I finally knew what to do

There was a time when I felt completely lost as a parent.

Every conversation with my teenager felt like walking through fog.
I couldn't see the way forward.

I tried new rules: kinder, firmer, everything in between.

Nothing worked.

The more I tried to fix things, the more distance grew between us.

And one day, sitting in my car outside the school parking lot, I just cried.

Because I didn't know what else to do.

And in that quiet moment, something clicked.

I realized that if I wanted something different, I had to show up differently.

I stopped trying to control his behavior.
And started paying attention to my own reactions.

I began listening for what was underneath the attitude.
The fear, the hurt, the overwhelm he couldn't name.

I stopped trying to fix and started getting curious.

That's when things changed.
The dynamic between us eased.

One night, he wandered into the kitchen while I was making dinner and said,
“Mom, can I tell you about something weird that happened today?”

Like it was the most normal thing in the world.

He was talking to me again.

Not because I found the "right words," but because I showed up calmer and more curious.

Now, when things start to get tense, I can usually catch myself before things blow up.

Is every day perfect ten years later?

Of course not.

But when we get off course, I know how to find my way back.

And that changes everything.

🧡 Jeanine