Tell me all the horrible things

You know those moments when you ask your teen,

“How was your day?”
and get:
“Fine.”
“Nothing.”
“Can I go now?”

You’re not alone.

Sometimes the only way to break through that wall is with a little humor and curiosity.

One of my clients in Sweden tried something new. She looked at her daughter and said,

“Tell me all the horrible things that happened today.”

Her daughter laughed—then she actually started talking.

At first it was small things like, “Math was awful,” or “The bus was late.”
But a few minutes later, the truth came out:

“The boys keep making comments about sex. I hate it.”

That one question opened a door.

Here’s what I’ve learned:
Complaints are invitations.

When your teen complains, they’re showing you what they care about—what’s hard, what’s heavy, what’s confusing.

Most of the time, what sounds like attitude or negativity is really exhaustion, pressure, or a quiet fear of not measuring up.

Instead of shutting it down, try questions like:

“What’s the most annoying thing about being 15?”
“What’s one thing that made you want to throw your phone today?”
“What part of school felt extra hard?”

You don’t have to fix it.
You just have to stay curious long enough for the truth to surface.

That’s how connection starts—not with perfect advice, but with a safe space to be honest.

And that honest conversation you’ve been craving?
It might start with one curious question.

🧡 Jeanine