What if he just doesn’t have it in him?

There’s a mom I’ve been working with who has a son in 12th grade.

Let’s call him Thomas.

He’s a good kid.
Smart. Funny. Athletic.

The kind of kid you look at and think, he should be able to do this.

But most nights looked like this:

It’s close to 10pm.

His laptop is open, the assignment pulled up…
but nothing’s happening.

He’s on his phone.
Watching videos.
Scrolling.
Saying he’s about to start.

She stands in the doorway and says,
“Did you start your stats homework?”

“I’ll do it later.”

She walks away, trying not to push.

A little while later, she passes his room again.

Same position.
Same not starting.

This time she says,
“Thomas… come on. You said you were going to do it.”

“I know.”

But he doesn’t move.

And you can feel it, right?

That mix of frustration and something else…
something tighter.

Because it’s not just about tonight.

It’s the missing assignments.
The grade dropping.
How close it’s getting to the end of the year.

And underneath all of that, a thought starts to creep in:

What if he just… doesn’t have it in him?

She hated that thought.
But it was there.

So she started stepping in more.

Reminding him earlier.
Checking the portal before he said anything.
Sitting next to him sometimes, just to get him going.

Trying to find a way to say it so he would actually hear her.

Some nights it came out encouraging.
Some nights it came out sharper than she meant.

But either way… it wasn’t changing.

Every night had that same feeling to it.

Like she cared more about it than he did.

Like she couldn’t quite let it go…
but couldn’t fix it either.

One night, stats came up again.

He hadn’t started.

You could feel that familiar pull in her…
say something… do something… don’t let this happen again

She stood there for a second.

And instead of saying everything she usually said…

she said:

“Go fail with honor, Thomas.”

If you’re reading this and thinking, this is exactly what’s happening in my house…

I want you to know you’re not the only one standing in that doorway at 10pm…

not knowing if anything you said tonight helped.

🧡 Jeanine

Comment and tell me—what’s your version of this moment?