“I’m sorry I’ve been kind of a jerk lately.”

Most parents think the problem is the attitude.

The eye flick.
The tone.
The “I said I will” that somehow turns into a standoff.

So you try to address the attitude.

You get firmer.
Calmer.
More consistent.

And it doesn’t really change.

Here’s what was actually happening with Laura.

By the time she walked into her son’s room, she’d already decided how it was going to go.

The tightness in her chest was already there.
The edge in her voice was already there.

She was bracing before she said a word.

He felt that before she even opened her mouth.

He wasn’t responding to the request.

He was responding to what it sounded like to him.

That’s not an attitude problem.
That’s a conversation that was already over before it started.

And here’s what that starts to cost over time.

Not the big blowups.

The small moments.

She started dreading the ordinary asks.
The reminder about the dog.
Getting him off the game.

Things that should have been nothing.

Because she already knew how they were going to go.

One night, she walked in and something shifted.

Same moment.
Same request.

But before she said anything…

she came into it differently.

And she said,
“I’m not here to fight with you.”

And then one night, driving home from practice, he said:

“I’m sorry I’ve been kind of a jerk lately.”

She had to blink fast so she didn’t start crying at the stoplight.

That only happened because she changed where the conversation started.

If nothing shifts, the same argument will still be happening in June.

Different request.
Same tightening.
Same ending.

If you're reading this and thinking,
I don’t want to keep having this same conversation,

that’s exactly what a Parenting Breakthrough Call is for.

We take one real moment—the one that keeps happening—
and slow it down until you can see where it actually started.

That’s what changes the next conversation.

🧡 Jeanine