If I don't do it, he won't

Your son mentions he needs to register for the ACT.

You suggest sitting down together when he gets home.

“Can't you just do it for me?”

So you open your laptop and start filling out the registration.
He's sitting there scrolling on his phone.

You ask him a question.
He barely looks up.

Then he notices the testing location you've selected.

“Not that one!”

You start explaining why you chose it.

And suddenly, you're defending a decision you made while doing something he asked you to do.

You want to close the laptop and say, “You know what? Do it yourself!”

But you don't.

Because what if he doesn't?
What if he misses the deadline?

You know he needs to start doing these things himself.

But if you stop now, he might fall behind.
And if you never stop, when will he learn?

So you finish registering him.

And afterward, you're irritated with him.
And a little irritated with yourself.

I remember how easy it was to end up in this position.

When our kids were little, we signed them up for soccer, made their doctor's appointments, and reminded them to pack their instruments.
And we were good at it.

Then they became teenagers.
And somehow, we were still doing the same job.

Except now they want to make their own decisions.

You want your teenager to take more responsibility.
But you also want him to have every opportunity to succeed.

And you can't quite figure out how to do both.

Later that evening, your son comes into your room to show you the trading cards he's been collecting.

He's telling you all about them.
And you love that he still wants to share this with you.

But part of you is thinking about the appointment he hasn't scheduled.
And how you'll probably end up making that call, too.

You just want to enjoy him. Without the running list in your head.

When my kids were teenagers, I didn't understand why it was so hard to stop.

Because we're not just deciding whether to help.

We're deciding what we're willing to let happen if they don't follow through.

And when you're worried about your teenager's future, that's not an easy decision to make.

In private coaching, we work through situations like this as they come up.

We figure out what makes sense for your particular teenager, what you're going to try, and what to do when things don't go as planned.

Over time, you get better at deciding when to help and when to let your teenager handle something, without worrying that everything will fall apart if you don't step in.

If you're tired of doing so much for your teenager and want to enjoy your time together without the running list in your head, let's talk.

On a Parenting Breakthrough Call, we'll figure out why it's so hard to step back and where you can start handing things over.

🧡 Jeanine