It's not really about the trash cans.
On Tuesday, I wrote about pulling into the driveway and seeing the trash cans still sitting at the curb.
You already knew what was coming.
Another reminder.
Another "I forgot."
Another conversation you didn't have the energy to have.
At first glance, it looks like the problem is the trash cans.
Or the laundry.
Or the dishes.
Or whatever you've reminded your teenager about three times already this week.
But I don't think that's what's making those moments feel so heavy.
I think every forgotten chore starts answering a question you don't even realize you're asking.
Can I trust my teenager to become a responsible adult without me managing every step?
And once that becomes the question you're trying to answer...
it gets really hard to see the trash cans as just the trash cans.
Now it doesn't just feel like a forgotten chore anymore.
Maybe they really aren't learning to take responsibility.
Of course you keep reminding them.
You're not just trying to get the trash cans brought in.
You're trying to reassure yourself that they're learning what they need to learn.
And I think that's why these conversations become so emotionally loaded.
It's hard to let a forgotten chore stay a forgotten chore when you're afraid it means something about your teenager's future.
How do you know if you're right?
On a Parenting Breakthrough Call, we'll look at one real situation from your family together.
We'll figure out whether your teenager's behavior means what you've been afraid it means... or whether you're solving the wrong problem.
Parents often leave those conversations feeling relieved...
and hopeful.
Not because their teenager changed overnight.
Because they know what to do next—and why.
🧡 Jeanine
