This isn't what I imagined

There was a moment I used to picture before my son was a teenager.

Saturday morning. Pancakes. Him sliding into the chair across from me, still half-asleep, wanting to know what we were doing that day. No agenda. Just an easy morning together.

I had a whole version of how this would go in my head.

Cheering from the sidelines at his games.

Curling up together to watch something on a Friday night.

Him texting me from school just because something funny happened.

I didn't think I was asking for a lot. I just thought that's what this stage looked like.

And then it didn't.

Maybe your version looked different.

Maybe you imagined road trips with the music too loud and both of you singing like you used to when they were little. Or cooking together on Sunday afternoons. Or your teen actually wanting to hear what you know about history, about life, about the things you figured out the hard way.

Maybe you pictured dinner as the place where everyone landed at the end of the day. Tired but together. Laughing about something. Catching up on things that mattered.

Instead, dinner is quiet in a way that doesn't feel peaceful.

Instead, weekends feel like everyone doing their own thing.

Instead, you're texting your own kid from across the house just to get a one-word answer.

And under all of it, there's usually something else.

This isn't what I thought it would be.

Other families don't seem to struggle like this.

You're allowed to grieve the version of this you imagined.

Not because things are ruined. Not because the relationship is broken.

But because you had a picture of what this would be like. And when it looks different, that loss is real.

It doesn't mean you've done something wrong. It doesn't mean your teen doesn't love you. It means you're human, and you had hope.

Most parents don't say this part out loud. They talk about the arguments, the grades, the phone. But underneath that is usually something softer.

I just miss them.

I miss what I thought this would be.

If that's what's underneath everything else right now, I just want you to know you're not alone.

You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to be past it.

You're just allowed to feel it.

🧡 Jeanine

Comment and tell me—what did you imagine this time would look like?