It's not that he won't listen

On Tuesday, I told you about the mom standing in the hallway.

She knew she had to say something about the summer. The video games until 1am. The sleeping until noon. The fact that it was day three and he had no job, no plans, nothing.

And she already knew how it was going to go.

He was just going to say "Don't worry about it" and go right back to what he was doing.

She'd tried bringing it up before. It didn't go anywhere.

Here's what that looked like.

She knocked and said:

"You can't just sit around and video game all summer. You need to figure something out."

He looked up.

"I got it."

She walked out thinking, He's just going to blow me off.

And she'd said almost none of what she actually wanted to say.

That's not a responsibility problem. That's a pattern. And it keeps repeating until something shifts before the knock.

The next time, she caught herself.

Instead of leading with all the things she was worried about—the job, the sleeping until noon, what the rest of summer was going to look like—she decided to hear his ideas before she told him what needed to change.

She sat down and just checked in.

"How are you doing?"

He didn't say much. She didn't push.

"What are you thinking about for summer?"

He kind of shrugged. Said he'd been thinking about a few things.

But he didn't shut it down.

And that was different.

So they kept talking.

That's the first move.

And that first move is what makes the rest of the conversation possible.

Without it, here's what happens.

She says a little less than she means to.

He keeps gaming.

She lets another week go by.

She tells herself she'll bring it up when the timing is better.

That's not a rough few weeks. That's ten weeks of walking past the same door—and then August, wondering why you never said the things you meant to say.

If you're reading this and already know how the next conversation ends…

Maybe it's the gaming.

Maybe it's the sleeping until noon.

Maybe it's that every conversation somehow turns into the same argument.

Maybe you're worried he's drifting through the summer and you don't know how to get through to him anymore.

That's exactly what a Parenting Breakthrough Call is for.

We look at the pattern that's keeping you stuck—and what shifts it.

Not what to say.

Where to begin.

Because that's what changes what's possible in the next ten weeks.

You can book a Parenting Breakthrough Call here.

🧡 Jeanine