You think it's the attitude

On Tuesday, I told you about Wendy.

The tension.
The snapping.
The way even simple questions turned into something.

And the part she said out loud:

"I hate that I’m starting to avoid my own kid."

Most parents assume the problem is the attitude.

The tone.
The eye roll.
The "Why do you care?"

So they try to stop it.

"Don’t talk to me like that."
"You need to change your attitude."
"Why are you being so difficult?"

But that’s not what’s actually driving it.

Here’s what was happening with Wendy.

By the time she knocked on Emma’s door, she could already feel it.

That hope that this time would be different.
That it would just… go okay.

So even when she asked a simple question—

"Who are you hanging out with today?"

—it didn’t feel like a real question.

To Emma, it felt like she was already being judged.

Emma wasn’t reacting to the question.
She was reacting to what it felt like.

That’s the moment most parents can’t see.

Not because you’re missing something.
Because it happens fast.

The conversation starts before the words.

And when it starts that way—
even if your voice is calm—
your teen hears:

I’m already in trouble.
I’m already getting this wrong.

So instead of answering, you get:

"Why are you making such a big deal about this?"
"I said I’m fine."
"Can you just stop?"

And now you’re right back where you started.

Different day.
Same conversation.

This isn’t a Wendy problem.
It’s a pattern.

If nothing shifts, something else starts happening.

The relationship starts running on surface conversation only.

Logistics. Short answers.

If you're reading this thinking this is exactly what keeps happening —
you already know how it ends.

A Parenting Breakthrough Call is where you find out where it starts.

🧡 Jeanine